Wrote a poem MOFOS
Hana Kuso
Just like a porn star
Inevitably gets their arsehole
Stretched out
Ugly even for a shitting orifice
Well my nostrils
They are being stretched out
Gaped
Fucked by my fingers
Over time
Decades
As I reflexively pluck out
The nose shit
The crusty crud of
City dwelling
That crystalises in my nose tube
I don’t even snort cocaine
I just inhale the unpleasantness
Of being around 20 million other
Homesapiens
And their horsepower crux sprud fire crackle shit skoddery
Fuck me I hate to breathe around my fellow man
Picking my nose is all I can
Do to shit out the nose poo
Hair won’t do
So sorry if my fingers are digging upwards to my brain
I need to do it or I’ll go insane
In Japanese they call
Words: Speech leaves
Fireworks: Fire Flowers
Snot: Nose Shit
Hana Kuso
Gesundhfuckingeit.
BLOGEY
In the lexicon of the Japanese tongue, where cherry blossoms rain like soft confetti upon cremation urns and words are petals loosed from the mind-tree, there comes an aberration.
Hanakuso (鼻くそ) — “nose shit.”
Nose (hana). Excretion (kuso).
So the human face, with its weeping orifices and thermal exhaust vents, births petals of crust. The nose, that olfactory shrine through which gods and toxins alike are inhaled, produces this grotesque blossom: a dried artifact of breath, a testament to the body’s ceaseless filtering.
But what is snot?
It is mucus, that gelatinous, protein-laced lubricant excreted by goblet cells—humble priests hidden in the temple walls of the sinus labyrinth. Mucus is the body’s scrollwork of defense, encoded with enzymes, antibodies, and cellular debris. It entraps particulate blasphemies: spores, soot, pollen, and the unclean breath of fellow hominids.
When it dries, it becomes hanakuso—a sacred fossil, ossified by the silent wind of nostrils breathing in a world aflame with particulates.
THE METROPOLITAN NASAL APOCALYPSE:
Do you know why City Dwellers grow denser nose hair? Did you even know that’s a fucking thing? No, you didn’t… because sadly nobody reads this fucking brilliant blog. I write it purely for my own entertainment about oddly specific things I already know.
I live in Tokyo, one of the greatest shitholes on earth: a hive of combustion, where lungs sip diesel, and the rain tastes of battery acid. In this man-forged Eden, the human body begins its adaptation.
Nose hair thickens.
Why? Because the air is no longer air. It is particulate scripture, flecked with metallic sermons, microplastic liturgies, and fungal psalms. Each breath threatens the cathedral of the lungs. The body, in silent revolt, thickens the hedge at the gate—the vibrissae, those coarse nasal sentinels, grow wilder, denser, like ivy on a forgotten mausoleum.
It is the city’s unwholesome kiss that demands this follicular uprising. The nose becomes a thatched shield.
GERIATRIC BLOOM: Why the Nose Hair Grows With Age
Feeling old? You already died inside reading up to here… if you are a slow reader, it might have taken you decades to discover this wonderful post. Aging is that slow molting of the self, and it does not come gently. Testosterone—boys and girls both need it—begins to betray its host. In the hormonal aftermath, hair receptors awaken in odd places. The nostrils, like dormant graveyards, erupt in weeds.
Nose hair grows longer, thicker, more determined. Not out of usefulness. Nah, my fellow fleshbags, that’s entropy. It is a grotesque resurrection. Youth reborn as biology’s senile graffiti. And thus the elderly man, once smooth-faced and silver-tongued, becomes host to a miniature bramble nest in the four holes that lead to his hardening racist-befuddled brain. Hi Dad!
CONCLUSION: THE COSMIC JOKE OF HANAKUSO
In a language that calls fireworks Fire Flowers, and words Speech Leaves, even mucus cannot escape the florid metaphor.
Hanakuso—the shit of the nose, dried and cast away.
But let us not laugh too soon. For what are we, if not soft machines extruding meaning from mucous membranes, crafting language from the same throat that gurgles phlegm?
The body is not sacred. It is ritual machinery, clogged with symbolism and snot.
Embrace your hanakuso. It is your communion wafer with the absurd.
